I've been having this feeling lately. I'm struggling to accurately describe it. It's not sadness. I don't think I'm sad. I have been a little perturbed lately. But I realize that it's because I've been minding other people's business lately. It's easy to get swept up in those kinds of feelings when I'm minding other people's business.
So back to this feeling....
When I'm not minding other people's business, I have a mix of feelings. I feel calm, yet a bit antsy. I feel boredom, but yet peaceful. I feel like I should be being productive, but I'm not that motivated. I have a desire to create, but am searching (quite unsuccessfully I might add) for that spark of inspiration.
I'm not "as into" horoscopes and numerology as I was some years ago. According to them both, though, this is a time of preparation and reflection for me. It's not a time for a whole lot of action. I actioned myself out last year anyway.
What this feels like is me standing at my front door waiting for a cue to open it and go outside into the world. I'm just standing there waiting though. I feel like I should be using this time to cultivate SOMETHING. I feel like I should be using this time more wisely. I guess that's where the antsy comes from.
I'm also trying to find the place inside of me that is willing to embrace this experience, so that I can take advantage of it. But I just keep feeling like I need to bust a move.
No resolution just yet. Just expressing. *shrugs*
I'm Ellen Gee. When I'm honest, we learn things. When I'm not, we learn things too.
Capturing the Past