I was inspired to write a list of the things I learned this year. The way my attention is set up right now, I wouldn't be able to cough up 10 things and writing the top 3 seemed petty. Soooooooo, if necessary, I'll write another blog but in the meantime, I'll share (in no particular order) the top 5 things I learned in 2014.
5. People are crazy
I mean this from the bottom of my heart and I include myself with "people". After spending time on a Psych unit in October, what I believed about the average person was confirmed. There are a lot of people walking around with unresolved and untreated mental health issues, trauma, and emotional pain. Fear, anger, shame, guilt, and sadness push people around and control their actions and reactions.
4. People are in their element with negativity
We claim we want peace, but I think that peace is boring, uncomfortable, and unattractive to the average person. It's not exciting enough. We thrive on drama, chaos, negativity, heartache, and general malaise. It's familiar and it's comfortable because it's what we know.
3. Accept people for who they are
If someone isn't a leader, accept it. If someone is a liar, accept it. If someone is a good person to everyone but you, accept it. If I am any of these things, accept it. The difference between me and others is that I can change me if I choose to. I know damn well I can't change other people. I can remind them of who they are or maybe inspire change but I'm no puppet master and that's o.k. with me.
2. I can and will say NO
Not being able to say no contributed to my breakdown this year. I realized that between a need to be liked, a need to be helpful, and a need to give people what I want in return, I was saying yes to everyone else except for myself. I didn't give me time to breathe. I didn't give me time to relax. Hell, I didn't give me time to catch up to actually do all of the things I committed myself to. I realize that saying no to others is most important when it means that I am saying yes to myself. And I can and will say YES to myself.
1. Loving and caring for yourself is a full-time job
There's no vacation time, sick time, PTO, or resigning from it. The thing I know is that loving yourself, like a lot of other things in like, is a skill and a habit. Caring for yourself is a daily activity that requires awareness. Loving yourself is a daily activity that requires mindfulness. They say being a parent is the hardest job on the planet. I think loving and caring for yourself is the hardest. So many things are designed to prevent us from it. So many obstacles stand in the way before I even realized that it was something that I was required to do. And by the time I figured out exactly what I was supposed to be doing, I had to dig myself up from under all of the accumulated life that gathered around and on me. And it's a consistent work in progress that requires mind, body, and spirit to work in harmony more often than not. AND people may or may not cooperate. *le sigh* It's all good though because it's not on them, for them, or with them that I love and care for myself.
Ok, 2014. You sure showed me.
I'm Ellen Gee. When I'm honest, we learn things. When I'm not, we learn things too.
Capturing the Past